Eurocrats vs. Euroboobs

I remember, right after the terrorist attacks, George Bush pleaded with people to return to the shopping mall, saying that if we didn't shop then 'the terrorists will have won'. This eventually morphed into a joke, and soon college students were using it to convince females that the terrorists aims will have been fulfilled, unless the ladies removed their bras. I came up with a similar, but less funny saying to describe the little ridiculous things about the European Union. It came from the fact, after the CR joined the EU, that Czech restaurants were no longer allowed to let their goulash simmer for three days. Apparently this was against the EU regulation that food be served within six hours of being prepared. I deployed my slightly less funny saying with skill, using it to point out a bad haircut (Mullets are against EU regulations) and the hair salon/bar near my old dorm, which absolutely positively HAD to be against EU regulations. EU regulations are the product of people who are paid too much to do too little. As they're all liberal socialists, they feel guilty about being lazy, but not too much. That means they do very little real political reforming, and a lot of little garbage. Case in point:

A dirndl is a traditional costume worn by women in Bavaria and Austria. It is characterised by a generally rather revealing décolleté and consists of a dress and apron with a tight, low-cut top whose figure enhancing effect is accentuated by a short white blouse. Bavarian barmaids typically dress in dirndls. However, under the European Union’s Optical Radiation Directive, which is to be voted in the European Parliament next month, employers face heavy fines if they fail to protect their employees against the risk of sunburn.

This EU directive will come into direct conflict with me, as I will be attending Oktoberfest in September (?), and fully expect to get drunk and harass the fraulein (beer wench in English...well not a direct translation...) serving me my massive beer. I like these beer-serving bosoms, as they are an affront to all those fascist terrorists out there that would prevent me from oogling these beautiful teutonic beauties. Or oogling the beautiful, massive, dripping brew that these women are going to present to me. So there's my excuse: Mom, I have to go to Oktoberfest or the terrorists will have won. I further enjoy the bashing of the fellow-europeans:

Heinrich Traublinger ... called the proposed directive, “a new proof that the Brussels bureaucrats are totally out of touch with reality.” “Such a stupid idea can only originate in rain-drenched Brussels,” he said.

Europeans, as my friend (and future guest-blogger!) Kyle said, enjoy bashing each others countries. They like to insult the food, the women, the language. Or they go on and on about how their empire was bigger back in the 16th century. No one here seems to get that they're all a bunch of white people with greasy food and a bad taste in dance music. But they are all a bit absurd, just look at the phenomenon known as Robbie Williams. As Kyle said, "Maybe if we based the war in iraq on the argument that too many men there have mustaches we’d have the support of Europe. That’d be easier to prove than wmd anyways." Anyway, for something completely different, the aforementioned Kyle Sonnonstine will be my guestblogger for the next week while I'm on vacation. Other more relevant blogs have guestbloggers while their author is out, so I figured why not this little slice of daily revelation? I'll be in Croatia, so I'll try to post some, but since the trip will consist of camping I'm not sure what my internet availability will be. Kyle is sorta outsourced, and will have comperable stories to tell about beer drinking and criticism of the absurd. So please shower him with nonsensical comments and I'll be back around the 21st.