News of the Absurd

I have a contributor! The infradgiable Kyle Sonnonstine (infradgiable: 1)In a manner of being vaguely kyle-like 2) Uncontrolled male lactation) has sent over this gem. . I wonder if he sent it directly to me after reading the headline, "Workers vote to end 13½-year strike at world's largest walnut plant ", excitedly thinking of adding content to the world-famous blog 'Outsourced'. Or if he savored the article, like a cheap, yet flavorful wine, whose discovery adds an air of contentment resented by the wider, uneducated world. Anyway, onto the article:

STOCKTON – Workers at the world's largest walnut processing plant voted Tuesday night to end their more than 13-year-long strike. ... "Nobody ever thought it would take this long," said Lucio Reyes, the union's secretary-treasurer. "The company didn't expect it. We didn't expect it. I think it was worth it in that we did accomplish something. Both parties now realize we have to work together. Everyone should be feeling good about this."

Well, what can I say about this? There are obvious questions about 'walnut processing', but those are beside the point. The question is who thought they were important enough in the walnut-manufacturing process that the company would care if they went on strike? I mean, you're not exactly skilled labor. Anyway, any pay is supplemented by free walnuts, which I think should count for something.

Teamsters International President James P. Hoffa called the strike one of the union's "epic battles" during a rally at the plant in 2000: "Someday they will look back here, at the land of John Steinbeck and 'The Grapes of Wrath,' and say ... 'The workers at Stockton's Diamond plant, they are the ones who stood up,'" Hoffa told the workers.

Yes, you really have made a difference. My standing as a worker in the exploitive capitalist system has been further strengthened by all your nut-related labor actions. Considering that the strike hastened the development of "automated machinery had made many of the laborers' jobs unnecessary over the years", perhaps you should have ended your strike about 13.5 years ago. And what the hell? How do people manage to stay on strike for 13 years? I mean, they didn't exactly build up a nest egg working at the walnut factory. On a further note, couldn't this be outsourced? Specifically to eastern europe, where you can hire lazy american expats to protest against the unfair wages at a california walnut factory. I know plenty of people that would jump at the chance (or lethargically stumble, in the case of the stoners) to protest something. Whatever the American protesters are being paid could be halved, saving the union millions. And hell, outsourced walnut strikers would get much more sympathetic media coverage here, in the land of the fallen proletariat. But outsourcing is evil, don't forget.