Readers and losers

It's almost impossible for me to blog at work. no, not because i'm busy. Far far from that, I am in fact spending most of my time waiting to transition into a much more interesting position after the end of the year. Instead I sit here trying to fix a couple of unimportant things, as well as contemplating my next blog post. The problem is that blog posts require creativity, flair, and bright enthusiastic ideas that aren't readily accessible at work. Blogging requires color, work requires squares. I spend most of my day trying to logically move ideas around in my head. This doesn't help me at the end of the day when i'm trying to come up with an amusing metaphor for describing how my co-worker just left to meet a girl who described herself to him 5 mintues ago as wearing a 'short shirt and tight jeans'. They're now going to, as Pavol put it, 'look at the stars'. have fun, and try not to get any STD's on you. But today I got to wondering who looks at my blog, and how frequently they check it. I came up with this list: My Mom- Checks every 5-10 hours. Immediately yells to my dad if there's a new post. Tries to post a comment, but is then stymied by her complete lack of technability. Ben Hobratsch - every 24 hours while he's working at his boring job at UNT. I check your blog about the same amount, buddy. You should consider spending less time writing about the rakish quality of your jacket in the pictures of yourself that you incessantly post. Jana - 5 times a week, at least, while bored at work. Jana should be writing her own blog, but is overcome by shyness. Also our relationship isn't dramatic to write about the stuff that she'd like to read about. But if she could write a blog about the trevails of her friends, who often find themselves surrounded by unwanted pregnancies, lacklustre love lives, cheating boyfriends, and all sorts of post-colleagute dramatics, she'd have a blast. Kyle - 4 times a week - my earstwhile guest blogger. Lazy bastard he might be, but he occastionally writes an amusing email that finds its way onto this website. Sometimes he smells, which is why the Atlantic ocean makes such a good neighbor. After this posting he will write a reposte in the comments section that will make my mom laugh and say 'that kyle is a hoot'. This will cause me to worry about the quality of my genetic material, if the woman who bore me almost 25 years ago is more than willing to use the word 'hoot' on a daily basis. My Dad - 4 times a week - I am always afraid my dad will write a blog. He'll just discuss the gross things he saw in the operating room that day, or what my mom failed to cook for dinner. My sister will be mortified, and will refuse to link to him. Sarah - 3 times a week - It might be more, but I'm judging she usually checks out my blog when she posts on her own. One of the first friends I made at university, she's travelled almost as much as I have, except to the opposite places. I'm looking forward to meeting her over Christmas and discussing the similarities between getting food poisoning in Karachi and Katowice. Amanda - Twice a week. Amanda has an extremely amusing blog by the name of Mandyland, which is conveniently placed to the right under the 'friends' blogroll. But she's lazy as well, and her blogging is spread out months at a time. I guess in the interim she's busy sailing or playing rugby or beer pong or doing whatever people do when they're trying to squeeze 4 years of college into 5. Joey - Once a week - After all, Joey has to spend most of his time trying to pretend he isn't ripping all his blogging ideas off of me. Myriah - Twice a month. Myriah has a great Czech last name (Mikulencak, sp?) and was supposed to try her hand at becoming an expat. But she was thankfully rescued by real life, and won't have to suffer listening to other expats talk about how great it is to buy a beer for a dollar. Brian - Twice a month - Recently wedded to a demanding woman, and amongst the intellirati of New York, Brian doesn't have time to update his very amusing blog. Occasionally he remembers mine, checks it out, and leaves a little disappointed, knowing that the full comedy punch of nick can only be felt in person, after 5 beers. pity. Sara - Twice a month, between making some sort of exquisite meal at the Driskill. The best thing about her job - get off work and you're already on 6th street. lil' Steve - Once a month, between hazing some kid and discussing the sexual preferences of the 'townies'. What a bastard. Christian - Once a month. But only when he's drunk and can muster the ability to read. Paul - Once a month - Paul is much too busy learning the legal ins-and-outs of divorce law, in which he will spend much time involved. Kenny Vise - Once a year. I keep sending him a link but i have the lingering suspicion that he doesn't read my blog. I wish he had a blog. I'd enjoy the daily postings about how some kid was extremely lazy during band practice, except he'd use some bizzare Cajun metaphor that is confusing for 5 secons, hilarious for 10, then slightly uncomfortable. Matthieu - Once. My dirty frenchman roommate - i'm sure he has checked out the Flickr pics, but besides that..? My Grandfather - Never. He's not sure how much longer he has, and doesn't want to put the effort into learning this newfangled technology. Whenever I go back to the US our conversations usually start out 'we meet again'. Jesus - About 10 seconds before every new posting. These are then filed away in St. Peter's vault for processing and evidence. Considering my visa was just rejected twice for technical reasons, I think I know where all this blogging is going to lead me...