News of the Absurd

So here it is, the inagural edition of Nick's weekly News of the Absurd. Submissions were WEAK this week, but i'll include some of them anyway. 1) Clinton? Bush? It's the Capulets and the Montagues all over again, except with ugly people and Fleetwood Mack/Kenny Chesney on the soundtrack. But the Elder Bush and the Cool Clinton are currently in Asia, together, raising money. This is all good, but apparently some of the press flacks hanging around with them got a bit bored and filed this:. Favorite quote? "Bush said he and Clinton are not close, but have been compatible on the tour, partly because Clinton respects his age." 2) In further Tsunami news: 'Elderly, homeless Sri Lankan man sexually active for first time in decades!'

Some of the well-intentioned donations for victims of the December tsunami are bewilderingly inappropriate (such as ski jackets and Viagra), according to a February Wall Street Journal dispatch from Sri Lanka. Relief workers are being distracted by shipments of, for example, moisturizing gel, sweaters, women's dress shoes, Arctic-weather tents and thong underwear. Crucial medicines were in short supply, but not Valium, anti-depressants, or drugs with labels in languages that local doctors could not read. As the Journal wrote, some doctors "appear (just) to have unloaded their sample bins." [Wall Street Journal, 2-3-05]

3) This is a news headline you are unlikely to see ever again: Necrophilia among ducks ruffles research feathers 4) And our final entry: Women Bare Breasts in Prince Charles Visit. You may assume that these are immoral island natives, or royal-watching nudists. Something reasonable. But they're actually protesting...topless.

In an apparent protest against the monarchy, the woman had the message "Get your colonial shame off my breasts" scrawled across her chest and stomach.

*Sigh* Obvious responses: The important question is how it got on there - If only I could elicit such passion - I'm your liberator, baby! This one is my personal favorite:

Earlier in another part of the Civic Square, a bare-chested woman carrying a small child was hauled away by plain-clothed police moments before the prince would have been confronted by her as he greeted a line of well-wishers. The woman, also bare from the waist up, was dragged away shouting, "I just want to feed my baby."

So that's all the absurd news for the week. Please send me any submissions for next week: nickmoles@mail.utexas.edu. oh, and check out this link. you can see the popularity of your name in the US