Purple dot

Along with meat and potatoes, cabbage traditionally accompanies any Czech meal. Often it is a strange purplish color, as if it’s been dipped in imperial dye. The problem with this particular food is that it swims in a similarly colored purple juice, usually some sort of mild vinegar thing. Sometimes when you pick up the food, that insidious purple fluid will transfer itself from the cabbage onto your shirt. And when your name is Nick, and the ability to move fork to mouth is often in question, this leads to stains. I have a purple dot on my shirt. A blue shirt that I really, really like, extremely comfortable, fits me well, makes we look good. And now I have some stupid cabbage stain on it. I tried to fix it. I went into the bathroom and wiped my shirt for a while, but couldn’t get out the purple dot. My manager came in, saw what I was doing, and suggested that I put lemon juice onto the purple dot. I did that, and soon had a purple dot surrounded by a big green splotch. I left the bathroom, my shirt splattered with water, with a big water spot in the middle where I tried to wipe off the small dot and the big splotch. I was the object of some good-natured ribbing with colleagues. I was also given various remedies to fix the splotch and dot, from salt to bleach. Some of them were jokes, some were real, and I’m confused as to which is which. But I have a girlfriend who, although she’s a liberated modern female, still has that innate female knowledge. Genetic stuff that I have no access too. I have the genetic ability to speak entirely in grunts, which is useless in the modern world, except to express the fact that I’m hung over and don’t want to get out of bed. Then it’s an extremely efficient way to convey my feelings on the subject matter. But back to the topic: I have girlfriend who knows about this stuff. And this weekend I will bring the shirt to her and request that the stain goes away. Hopefully it will, or instead of saying ‘I’m wearing the blue shirt to work today’, it’ll be ‘I’m wearing the purple dot shirt today’.