Love and Marriage

Why aren't my friends married? More importantly, why haven't I had the opportunity to drink 2 bottles of wine and drunkenly croon old Sinatra songs to my friends' grandmothers? I really feel like I'm missing out. This made me realize that all of my friends have left their safe, cozy college environs and moved into the wider world. Me-Prague, Kyle-NYC, Lil'Steve-Afghanistan, etc. My friends literally lead lives far too adventurous to be bogged down by trifles such as 'long-term relationships', 'relationships', 'hitting on girls', etc. This must mean that my friends are more adventurous, and willing to take more risks than other people. They in turn will end up wealthier, and with hotter wives than those that settle on whoever would talk to them at the kegger in college. Writing this has made me quite happy. On the other hand, we could all just be too butt-ugly to get chicks, so we export ourselves to countries where the women have lower standards. I'm talking about you, lil' Steve....